Quiet Reflection...

Today, I went to the viewing of President Hinkley. I made it a point that Sophie and Emma could attend so they could have a memory of seeing this particular prophet up close. Furthermore, it was a way to facilitate another conversation on birth, death, the resurrection, and Christ. Late last year, my grand auntie Etta passed away. At that time, we were able to talk at length about these issues. I was fascinated at their curiosity regarding the subject matter from the questions that came up. (I guess at age 4 or 5 ... when staring at an elderly woman in a casket that looks asleep, is wearing special clothes, and...due to the casket...doesn't appear to have legs, you are bound to have some funny questions!) In talking with them today, it was a large reminder to me about the beauty of my religion. Like so many others, President Hinkley's genuinity, teachings, and wit captivated my attention. Yet his deeply cherished and tender love for his wife Marjorie, whom I revere, and his deep rooted love/devotion to the Lord is most admirable for what a man can be. Gordon B. Hinkley exemplified the Savior by his actions and service to all.




So, in quiet reflection, on the evening of his death, I laid in bed thinking about what was happening in places my eyes can't see. I reflected on my situation, my circumstances, and realized that I am a very blessed woman. I am so grateful for my life. I have children!! In a world where it seems that more and more women have problems, I actually have two. These girls have an incredible daddy, who is constantly giving his all to become the best father any girl would hope to have. I have great friends and family who love me unconditionally and support me no matter what choices (good or bad) I make. I am in good health with a body that functions the way it is supposed to. I know and have experienced what it feels like to be in a relationship of mature love and young love. I have a roof over my head, a job, religion, freedom, education, libraries, the most wonderful grocery store close by stocked with food in which I don't have to wait in long lines, computers, baffling levels and avenues of communication, heat, clothing, shoes... with feet to fill them and legs to run with, safety, security, medical facilities for every facet of the body and mind within city limits, transportation beyond my own two feet, reasonably priced restaurants to broaden the variety of food to eat, regular opportunities to meet and help others, sports and recreation around town and in the mountains, which I love to look at everyday. I am grateful that I can wake up and see with my eyes the sun during the day and the moon at night and know that I am but a small part of an incomprehensible system. I have seen extreme poverty and lived among those in it and I realize, even though things can be hard, I am very, very far removed from that.


I have learned, especially in the last 10 years of my life, so much about my own spirituality. Whew... I won't go into all of that in a blog.. Yet, I will say, that I have a very special place for Christ in my life. I have reverence for his servants and deep admiration for their dedication, trials, and responsibilites.
I believe in Jesus Christ's teachings. I've experienced sweet and personal communication with diety through prayer solidifying my knowledge that I am on the Lord's radar, even though I am an idiot. I am but one small person in this myriad of energy, life, and light surrounding me, yet he wants to be involved with me. I am so very far from perfect, have come up short or failed plenty of times, but in the midst of it all... through relatively easy or challenging times... I have never felt unloved or unimportant to the Master of the Universe... which is at times overwhelmingly humbling.
I've included one of many favorite pictures of the Savior. This is called "Lo I am with you Always" by Traci Douglass. I am particularly drawn to the eyes because I feel he is looking right at me. I am well aware he knows me, he understands my situation, he is concerned but calm, and feel he is communicating love. I hope you enjoy it.